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I have been told, on more than one occasion that I only post negative things about Pakistan. Also, that I make Pakistan look bad in front of everyone, including our ‘apparently unfriendly’ neighbor.

I firmly believe that to treat a problem, you have to first acknowledge that it exists, only then can you go about solving it. People, who sweep things under the carpet or prefer to stick their heads in the sand every time something negative comes up, are not helping Pakistan. Not in my opinion, any way.

BUT, this list is going to be about all the good things in Pakistan. I will not mention a single negative thing. How about that!

1. Unlike the rest of the world, the Supreme Court of Pakistan is a place for the common man accessible to all. Anyone can go there, relax, have a picnic, and hang their laundry out to dry. Kids have been known to go play with the colorful “naaraas” hanging from wet shalwars while eating a savory lunch of Alu parathas. Anywhere else in the world, they would be chased away. Supreme Court of Pakistan lets you do everything you want, except of course deal with real cases. For that, we have Jirgas, the Honor Kill vigilantes, Ghairat Brigade, Karo Kari squad, etc.


2. Our media is extremely fair. Every channel supports a particular political party so, what you access is extremely fair and unbiased news. You just have to know which channels to watch. For example, if you are in the mood for a little Immi Khan, turn to ARY. If you want a bit of Nihari, turn to Geo. Just watch a half hour of all channels, so you know what not believe.


3. The chances of becoming a journalist in Pakistan are quite high. Everyone can be one. The only prerequisite required, is to have an opinion. Write about a stroll in the garden and how you think Spiderman is actually like a crab and not really a spider; there you are! JOURNALIST! And let’s not get into the great debaters of Facebook. All journalists!


4. Our extremely unique and colorful buses are very futuristic. It just goes to show how innovative we are, and how we think of things long before others. London recently introduced the Routemaster bus; it has no door at the back making it easy for passengers to hop on and hop off whenever they want, wherever they want. Pakistani buses have had no doors since time immemorial, and we have seen many a number of people hang on the bus for dear life trying to get in, as it speeds away. Another important point, we also introduced the concept of double decker buses.


See? Double Decker.


Copy cats!

5. We are very tolerant people who treat everyone equally without prejudice. Seriously! We kill everyone who can be killed on a mere whim, while others sit not too bothered, tolerating the situation. See? I told you. Equal treatment and tolerant!


6. Pakistanis in general are very relaxed by nature. “Chill people.” So much so, that waiting in an immigration line at a local airport for 15 minutes while the 3 officers on duty discuss what Fanta tastes like exactly, would be deemed normal. (Yes, this happened.)


7. Every Pakistani has a voice. We peacefully march, strike, hold dharnas, whenever we want to be heard. BUT, when we really want to voice our rights, we break down the PM’s gate, burn our homes, break our properties, and storm tv channel stations breaking and stealing their equipment. Anarchy is A-ok too.

yeah, beat that washing machine!

yeah, beat that washing machine!

beat police

That’s not a turtle, that’s a policeman.

8. We make amazing containers. They are strong, sturdy and never let us down. To this day, each road that they have blocked has remained blocked. And no rain has EVER entered the containers that politicians stand on top of and/or reside in.

The new improved container for  Dharna 2015.

The new improved container for Dharna 2015.

9. Our media is 100% free. I mean terrorists come on TV and give interviews. OPENLY! What country does that? The terrorists even invite leaders from across the border to visit the country! They post their videos about love and unity on Daily Motion for all to see as well. Just youtube is blocked, but who cares, we have the terrorists right there in front of the tv screen. Who needs youtube.

Talking about love and stuff.

Talking about love and stuff.

In a rally, Islamabad, 2013.

More love in a rally, Islamabad, 2013.

10. Everyone has equal opportunities in Pakistan. Really.

When Nawaz Sharif is in power, his whole family gets together and dip their toes, knees, elbows, tummy, chin, everything in. When Zardari is there, his buddies, family as well as everyone who has changed their surname to Bhutto, get equal opportunities as well. One for all, all for one.

nawaz-sharif family

11. We are the most caring nation in the world. We care about Gaza, muslims being treated poorly in other countries, etc. We worry about our people in the nations that have unfairly banned the burqa (how dare they! It’s not like Muslim countries have a set wardrobe for non muslims)

dress sa



Double Oops.

Regardless, we are so caring and overwhelmed with love for all, sometimes we will miss things – it is human nature. So what, if we don’t notice what our Baloch people go through on a daily basis or the fact that we did not ask for the justice for the Ahmadis who were killed on the very same  and now infamous Model Town. We are a caring nation, dammit!

12. We have an incredible talent for the arts. We are all brilliant writers with the ability to write intricate scripts with everyone reenacting it line by line. The politicians, in particular, enjoy this immensely. Puppetry is also a major art form here.
In our scripts, there is music, drama, action, romance and even breakups – with the world watching as an audience.

PS. I love you.

PS. I love you.

Well, Oops then.

Dost dost na raha…

13. We are also a very trusting (almost gullible), truthful and forgiving nation. Whatever someone says, it is enough for us. If you tell me, that woman there did blasphemy; I will throw her in jail, if the people don’t burn her for her horrid crime first. If Mr. Hashmi, after 17 days, says that it is a script that Imran Khan is following, we will believe it without asking for proof. It does not matter, that he spent 2 weeks completely mum about the script before that. No. We forgive that, and we will in fact, give him a standing ovation in the very room, that he disregarded not so long ago.

See? Trusting, truthful and forgiving nation.

caesar is home

14. We are a nation of principles. Even if our people don’t want the PM in power, and even if he won through rigging, he will not resign or even agree to re-elections. Results are results, whether gotten fairly or through rigging. So nope, not going anywhere.


See? Even if I tried, I could not make Pakistan look bad.